Last night was Ana’s birthday BBQ. I had to write two stories today about different events that I had attended this weekend, so naturally everyone at the party suggested that I write about the party. I doubt that I my teacher would let me get away with it so I doing it for your own entertainment. Here are a number of scandals that I uncovered at the event (initials used to protect the innocent).
PM does shot with birthday girl.
I don’t drink that much any more so I thought that was news.
Man pushes pavlova into woman’s face and calls her obese.
MB continued his history of pushing messy things into PM’s face. Following the Glastonbury debacle last year when he pushed her face first into the mud, MB repeated his silly antics last night when PM asked for a bite of cake. Instead of being normal and just letting her have a bite, he pushed the creamy cake into her face covering it in Booter’s home made pavlova. JH and SS witnessed the event and provided serviettes in order to clean up the mess.
MB is a photographer working for an agency that likes him to take unidentifiable pictures of fat people to sell. He suggested that he might like to take a picture of PM for the collection. PM was not impressed.
Drunken Man dry-humps unsuspecting women at party
PP engaged in some classic behavior last night becoming overly affectionate with a number of women at the party humping them in much the same way that a dog would a tree. The women were amused and unharmed, however, disaster struck when he knocked SS’s glass out of her hand, spilling red wine all over his very nice Paul Smith shirt. He quickly changed into a T-shirt (from where!?), put the shirt in the washing machine and the event was promptly forgotten.
Drunken amateur theologians debate the meaning of faith and belief
PM was dragged into as passionate debate between GM and A about the definition of faith and how much it is linked to religion. Everyone articulated themselves well. Some interesting points were made, everyone felt good about their contribution. PM woke up this morning, realised they were all talking shit very earnestly for a fairly large proportion of the party and have decided not to bore you all by repeating the details.
By this stage I realised that it was 3am and time for me to stumble home to bed.
2 Comments
PM loving the report, however there were some slight in accurancies, SB knocked the wine out of SS hand, all over my shirt
Loving the humping still, however!
Px
Oh honey I am sorry for any inaccuracies. I learnt about media law today and issue a full apology about my previous statements.